What would they say?

A few years ago, I dated a guy who hated to be talked about. He never wanted people talking about him if he wasn’t there. I don’t know why he had this extreme aversion to it, but I thought that it was quite unreasonable. I mean, we talk about people who aren’t there all the time. It’s not always bad– sometimes we’re just passing information. But this guy thought that his name should never be mentioned unless he was present.

Needless to say, that didn’t really work out. People DO talk about you.

When the evangelist Jonathan Edwards was a young man, he talked about someone who wasn’t there, too. We have an excerpt from a letter he wrote to a friend of his, talking about a young woman who lived in New Haven, Connecticut. Here’s a sampling of some of the things he said about her:

“They say there is a young lady in [New Haven] who is loved of that Great Being, who made and rules the world, and that there are certain seasons in which this Great Being, in some way or other invisible, comes to her and fills her mind with exceeding sweet delight; and that she hardly cares for any thing…being assured that he loves her too well to let her remain at a distance from him always.”

“Therefore, if you present all the world before her, with the richest of its treasures, she disregards it and cares not for it, and is unmindful of any pain or affection. She has a strange sweetness in her mind, and singular purity in her affections; is most just and conscientious in all her conduct; and you could not persuade her to do any thing wrong or sinful, if you would give her all the world, lest she should offend this Great Being.”

“She is of a wonderful sweetness, calmness, and universal benevolence of mind; especially after this Great God has manifested himself to her mind. She will sometimes go about from place to place, singing sweetly; and seems to be always full of joy and pleasure; and no one knows for what. She loves to be alone, walking in the fields and groves, and seems to have some one invisible always with her.”

WOW! This girl had a great legacy. We know who she was. Her name was Sarah, and she would later become Jonathan’s wife. When he wrote this letter about her, she was only 13. If someone had written a letter about me when I was thirteen years old, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have said any of those things about me. I’m not even sure if they would write those things now.

The question that comes to my mind when I read about this extraordinary young woman is this: What kind of legacy am I leaving? Obviously we shouldn’t get our sense of value or self-worth from the opinions of other people. But when we look at Sarah’s example, we see that she was so secure in her relationship with God that others couldn’t help but notice her devotion and talk about her openly.

I don’t think Sarah would have been upset if she’d seen this letter. I don’t think she would have gotten offended. But I get the feeling that if I could see in writing some of the things that have been said about me in my absence, I’d be offended first, and then I’d feel shame. Shame for putting that kind of example out there. Shame for the way I treat people. Shame for my lack of devotion to Christ.

So, while I don’t recommend changing who you are in order to make people like you, I’ve got to wonder if your reputation might be a reflection of your relationship with God. If someone was writing a letter about you, what would they say?

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~ by Kate M. on March 4, 2010.